Fran Lebowitz, On Waking Up

12:35 P.M. – The phone rings. I am not amused. This is not my favorite way to wake up. My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.
— from "The Fran Leibowitz Reader" by Fran Leibowitz