Man, I Feel Like a Woman!

he years have gone by. I've turned 27, 28, 29... *muffled voice*... And, yet, I still feel like I'm only a couple of years out of college. I feel like I'm perpetually 26 years old. It's an age when you're not quite a "woman" and not quite a "girl" either. The pendulum swings off the center, but never to one side or the other. To put it in a nutshell, you still think you have a four-year window to make your first million and get all of your sh*t together. Pipe dreams.

'm at an age now where I am officially considered a woman, despite my cereal dinners and lack of a career. So, when do I actually feel like one? 

  1. When someone calls me "Ma'am"
    (No explanation needed.)
  2. When I feel skinny
    When I feel skinny, I feel powerful and fabulous. It says "I have the discipline to watch what I eat and work out regularly" a.k.a. "I've got my sh*t together." Or so I'd like to think. 
  3. When I feel curvy
    When I feel curvy, I feel womanly in the manner of Monica Bellucci. y skirts become that much tighter, which allows my derrière to make its own entrance. Oh yes, I'm here–bam!
  4. When I'm around babies and children
    Sure, I may react the same way around puppies and kittens, but, with babies and children, I impress even myself. I just want to hug them and kiss their boo-boos and teach them things. Could it be because I have, dare I say, maternal instincts? (This may also extend to interns, minus the "kiss their boo-boos" part.)
  5. When a man takes me out
    When you're out of your twenties, dating reaches a whole new echelon and, therefore, you find yourself stepping it up as well. Suddenly, if you're lucky, you're asked out by guys who are interested in you beyond your looks and how many attractive girlfriends you have. What wonderful conversation! How nice to interact with mutual respect! I consider these guys "men." It's a great feeling. Being around a real man definitely makes you feel like a woman. No scrubs allowed!
  6. When I know my way around a kitchen
    I know this sounds controversial, but I really do feel like I'm wielding womanly powers when I make a kick-ass meal. Here, let me show you how it's done, Honey. (This really falls under "When I have expertise in something." Cooking just happens to be one of those things.)
  7. When I wear amazing [Alaïa] heels and walk with a purpose
    ...Especially when I have to rush a little so that I can channel one of those women in the pin-striped skirt suits from 1980's pantyhose commercials.
  8. When I buy something expensive all on my own
    So empowering to feel like you've earned something.
  9. When I bargain shop
    Just kidding. When do I ever do that?

nd I'll just end here for now. If I add a tenth one to the list, it'll feel way too conclusive.

OMG. Let me revisit this... So, basically, I feel like a woman when a man takes me out, when I'm wearing heels, when I'm around children, or when I cook.

*runs for the hills*